September 13, 2021, 12:08 pm
There’s the “Presidential Election Press Conference In Front Of A Landscaping Business And An Adult Bookstore” level of cringe, and there’s the markedly cringier “Dry Shave Over A Plate Of Food In The Middle Of A Restaurant” level of cringe. And there are many levels of cringe in between.
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But only a true champion could unlock the “Do A Horrendous Impression of Queen Elizabeth And Make Jokes About Statutory Rape At A 9/11 Memorial Dinner” level of cringe.
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Enter: Rudy Giuliani.
He might have been “America’s Mayor” twenty years ago, but a lot has changed in the past two decades. The Twitter invective was merciless. Many disparaged particular claims Giuliani made in his speech. Some denied that Giuliani had ever been a true 9/11 hero. Others expressed doubt that he had been offered an honorary knighthood by the Queen.
Many Twitter users pointed out that Giuliani has long conducted himself publicly without, erm, a conventional sense of decorum.
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And some, at this point, were simply at a loss for words.
Giuliani defended himself to the Daily Mail. He claimed that he’d given an hour-long interview, just minutes before his 9/11 Memorial Dinner speech. “You can watch it on television,” he said. “See if I’m drunk.”
But Giuliani was apparently not confident that viewers would reach the right decision on their own. He relied on his particular brand of oratory pyrotechnics out to seal the deal:
“. . . put me in a courtroom and I’ll kick the s—t out of anybody,” he told the Daily Mail defiantly, “I am not an alcoholic.”
He sounds like someone sober to us. Someone sober who hangs out with extremely stable geniuses.
*First Published: September 13, 2021, 12:08 pm
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