25 People Answer How Old They Were When Men First Made Them Feel Unsafe

Photo via @jenarific/Twitter, @kaitkultur/Twitter

October 19, 2021, 10:13 am

Every now and again, a popular feminist figure or, sometimes, any random woman on Twitter puts out an ask to her followers to tell their stories about the first time that men or boys first made them feel unsafe in any way, beginning their lifetimes of navigating rape culture. This time around it was the outspoken Twitter user “feminist next door” asking the fateful question, and as usual, hundreds of women along with people of other genders replied to remind us all that these experiences start far younger than you would like to be aware of.

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How old were you when men started making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in your own body?

— feminist next door (@emrazz) October 18, 2021

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Young girls, some young enough to only barely begin to form long-term memories, become victims of sexual harassment, assault, or worse for the first time at a rate that should make everyone in the world want to stop and immediately address this problem until it stops. Unfortunately, instead, we go through this same horror show at least once every couple of years while so many men continue to be allowed and enabled to be predatory. Their actions often have lasting impacts on how girls, and later women, view the world and their ability to feel safe for no other reason than how their bodies exist in the physical realm.

It’s infuriating every time, but we can’t stop doing it until something changes, so here is your irregularly scheduled list of nauseating and rage-inducing horror stories to remind you that yes, there is still a problem. Many of the stories could be triggering for those sensitive to the topic of child sexual abuse, so read with caution:

1.

5. A boy chased me around the playground trying to kiss me. I told a teacher and she told me that just meant he liked me. I remember being so angry, even at 5, that someone would think it was fine for this boy to do whatever he wanted and what I wanted didn’t matter.

— Carla (@sullivansims) October 18, 2021

2.

Eleven. Approached by a man in a car asking for directions and suggested I get in…there was a little girl in the back seat.
I ran home and never told anyone. I often think about that girl in the back seat and wish I was brave enough to tell someone.

— ♕ Kerryn Smith (@smithker75) October 18, 2021

3.

11. Male babysitter – came into my bedroom after bedtime.

Never wore my favourite pajamas ever again. They had green frogs on them.

— kay (@kay_oz) October 18, 2021

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4.

I honestly don’t remember a time when they didn’t.

— Pepperannie double-jabbed; double sass (@PepperAnney) October 18, 2021

5.

Eight, a visitor said, “come here,” calling me into a room, and I got the weirdest feeling, but then I immediately heard a voice whisper “go outside and play,” in my ear. I called to the person in the room, “I’ll be right back,” and ran outside and played in the garden.

— ShushWearADamnMask (@ShushOrchid) October 18, 2021

6.

I was 11 and a man grabbed and hugged me when I was walking home from the tram stop. The police laughed at my dad when he reported it.

— CSJ (she/her) (@csestajacobs) October 18, 2021

7.

Pretty much for as long as I can remember, friends of my dad would talk about how they were going to take me away and marry me. Not just one man. It was always creepy. It made me uncomfortable every single time. I would cower behind my mother and they would call it cute.

— kat_ripley (@kat_ripley) October 18, 2021

8.

My parents used to tell a “cute” story about how my dog would get very protective of me anytime my godfather tried to pick me up, because my dog knew I didn’t want to be picked up.

Age 1. Though it was much later in life when I actually understood why that story wasn’t “cute”.

— Jena in Real Life (she/her) (@jenarific) October 18, 2021

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9.

You didn’t mention sex so here goes. 5 when I became frightened of boys. 6 I learned about creeps. There were some dangerous men to kids in my area. Me and my friend Caroline ran away from them. As a teen I was stalked but I can’t remember my age.

— Ben F Bridges (@Falconer084) October 18, 2021

10.

9. Mom and stepfather took me to a bar and we sat in a booth with a friend of theirs. I was sitting next to him and he put his hand on my knee/thigh. When I said something, my mom said, looks like you’ve got a boyfriend! I never forgave her for that.

— Miss Lelaina (@misslelaina) October 18, 2021

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*First Published: October 19, 2021, 10:13 am