@chroniclesofdaddy/Instagram
December 17, 2021, 7:24 am
A dad of two girls is getting real about the difficulties he faces when out with his kids, and his potentially controversial solution.
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Muhammed Nitoto is pretty candid on Instagram about life raising children alongside his wife. And one thing he’s started talking about this year is how the world just isn’t set up for dads who are out alone with their young daughters and need to take them to the restroom.
“Usually we would go places and they have FAMILY bathroom which are meant for people with children but what I found was most places don’t have them and Dads are left to decide between taking their daughters to the men’s bathroom or the women’s,” he wrote in an Instagram post.
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As a man, his first thought was to take his girls into the men’s bathroom with him. But that didn’t work out well for a number of reasons, including, as Nitoto said, that “men’s bathrooms are DISGUSTING.”
But more than that, the setup isn’t conducive for dads.
“The changing table was right next to the urinal which means my child literally would be next to where men pee [while] she’s being changed,” he said. “Not to mention that [there] are men going in and out while you’re in [there].”
So now, Nitoto has started accompanying his girls into the ladies’ room.
He explained his process, which involves announcing himself before he enters and why, making sure anyone inside is okay with that, and announcing himself once again if he hears anybody else coming in while he’s there.
“Women’s bathrooms are so much cleaner and setup perfect just in case they have children. The changing station is usually [inside] a stall instead of just in the open and it’s always clean,” he added.
“…They are too young to go on their own, so I have to go in with them. I try to be as respectful to women as I can while doing so, which consists of knocking on the door before entering and announcing myself. If someone is inside, I make sure they know I am a dad coming in with his daughter and make sure they are comfortable with that. Once inside our stall, I still am aware of the door, and whenever I hear it open and someone new is coming in, I announce myself again and make sure they know I’m inside with my child so that they aren’t surprised. Women’s bathrooms are so much cleaner and set up perfect if you have children. The changing station is usually inside a stall instead of just out in the open and it’s always clean. As a girl dad, I can’t help but want to protect my daughters from all things that aren’t for them and the men’s bathroom is 100% one of those things…”
Readers were generally supportive of his decision, pleased that he was putting his daughters first and sharing his frustration that the public world is still set up in such a way that assumes only mothers will be taking on the responsibilities of children.
“I completely support you doing this,” one mom of three sons replied. “My child’s safety is more important than someone else’s comfort. You do what you need to do.”
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“We need more people, but especially men, talking about how problematic restrooms are so we can change the culture around them,” @jwhatski added. “We need privacy, cleanliness and changing stations across the board. Props to you for also acknowledging the intricacies of this.”
Another supporter and father of two girls said that “men can be extremely weird and having my daughter exposed and around that is not okay.”
Most importantly, Nitoto’s post — and others like it from other dads across the internet chronicling their own experiences — are opening the door for much-needed conversations about modern parenting in a world that hasn’t quite caught up to the way dads are more involved these days. And that’s long overdue.
*First Published: December 17, 2021, 7:24 am
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