26 Adults Share The Dumbest, Funniest Beliefs They Held As Children

Photo via @ExileGrimm/Twitter

July 7, 2021, 1:40 pm

Everybody loves children, or can at least admit that they can be cute sometimes, but there’s no denying that little kids can be rather gullible, convinced as they are that adults know everything and would never lie to them. They also have active imaginations, and when your brain is still rapidly developing, it can be hard to remember what’s real and what’s something you assumed, saw in a dream, or watched in a kid’s show and didn’t know it was a joke.

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One such former kid went on Twitter this week to ask everyone to share the dumbest of the beliefs they held as children, possibly to help them feel better after sharing their own embarrassing story.

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I wondered why my parents still objected to this idea after I proved it worked, so I thought they were hiding this secret from me because they were worried I’d grow a massive flock of birds and they’d not be able to tell me what to do.

— _grimm (@ExileGrimm) July 6, 2021

“When I was 4-5 I swore that bird seeds grew birds, thus the name. When my parents asked me to prove it to them, I planted a pile of bird seeds,” they wrote. “The next day there were loads of birds where I planted the seeds, showing I was right.”

“I wondered why my parents still objected to this idea after I proved it worked, so I thought they were hiding this secret from me because they were worried I’d grow a massive flock of birds and they’d not be able to tell me what to do.”

These days, parents can just show their kids videos of birds hatching from eggs and growing up to eat bird seeds. However, based on many of the responses people provided, there’s still a serious problem with parents and other adults telling kids little fibs in order to get them to behave better or even just leave their snack supplies alone and those kids growing up to realize that they were being stupid for years.

And by “problem,” we mean the perfect setup for a list of funny stories

1.

My dad convinced me that when this came on the TV it meant I needed to literally stand next to the television to make it work again. He let me do that for years until I did it at a friends house. Her parents died laughing at me. pic.twitter.com/NuXjxc4oQI

— Elly (@emceehotdog) July 7, 2021

2.

my mom told me that when the ice cream truck was playing music they were out of ice cream and i believed her, like an idiot

— tea (@ahumblebunnie) July 6, 2021

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3.

I thought Bin Laden was the president of Iraq. I made a comic for an assignment where he was interviewed by the UN when I was 9. Teacher read it aloud to the whole class, they laughed at me as I found out the truth. When I asked to get it back so I could fix it, she refused.

— Jim (@jjjjjjjjjjjjjim) July 6, 2021

4.

I found this to be common among ppl my age as I grew up but I thought that human history had a black and white period, and a full color period

— sober driving enthusiast 6’3” IQ 74 (@otltrnehleein) July 6, 2021

5.

I live in Poland, and when I started learning English, i didn’t assume it was a language learned in most parts of the world, but rather that while in Poland we learned English, in England everyone learned Polish, and that all countries in the world were put into such pairs

— Kyu (@Kyubayas) July 6, 2021

6.

The worst part is that I love peas to this day. Delicious little lies.

— Erin/Yet another Bunnicula fan account (@perquinx) July 7, 2021

7.

I thought that the moon was the sun’s kid and if it was up during the day, that was the moon throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to go to bed

— Nora the chaotic (@nora_chaotic) July 6, 2021

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8.

when i was like 4-6 i thought for whatever reason that adults couldn’t run and when i saw my dad running i was in shock.

i also didn’t understand that you can take different routes and end up in the same place so i thought there were multiple copies of my house

— i’m a luzbian (@TERRORCORES) July 6, 2021

9.

one time I played in the woods and felt something weird on the back of my neck. it was in my hair so I assumed it was a hair seed and showed my dad my cool hair seed.

it was a tick. he ripped it out of my skull and I cried because I thought I’d go bald without my hair seed. pic.twitter.com/wz8v7aVpKU

— khraljevo (@khraljevo) July 7, 2021

10.

7 year old me thought money laundering was when a criminal literally put blood-soaked money into a washing machine to clean it and distribute to their fellow goons.

— everything’s coming up milhannah (@a_newfaceinhell) July 6, 2021

11.

I uses to think coyotes were giant jack in the boxes. Like 80 feet tall. I thought they just chilled in the forest and popped up when people came by…I simply cannot make this up or fathom how I came to that conclusion pic.twitter.com/raPLskpRN9

— The Magdalorian (@maggiebrapss) July 7, 2021

12.

I thought since babies grow in a woman’s stomach, then she would have to eat one of the man’s balls to get pregnant. The math worked out, since I was the younger of two children. What about families with 3+ kids? I dunno, balls grow back? Still not sure how to remove the balls.

— Joe Haley (@The_Underburbs) July 6, 2021

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13.

Kissing gets you pregnant.
When a man and a woman get married, they kiss at the altar at the wedding, and a baby can grow in the woman’s belly. This is how babies are made.

— Charley Chaos (@gravite56) July 7, 2021

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*First Published: July 7, 2021, 1:40 pm