Owner Of Firm Once Hired By Trump Says He Thought Laser Lights Would Cut Him In Half

November 18, 2020, 2:39 pm

In perhaps one of the most bizarre Trump stories yet, the owner of an entertainment firm hired by Donald in 1990 says that the outgoing president seemed to be terrified when hit with a laser beam, dropping to the floor as though it might cut him in half like a James Bond weapon. This claim has not been verified, but it sure is entertaining.

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According to Professor Joe Goldblatt, he was in charge of the welcoming event for the staff of the brand new Taj Mahal casino, and since it was a Trump property, there were plenty of bright lights and lasers. As a precaution, and in spite of the fact that he had been “warned not to speak to The Donald,” he told his client not to look back when making his entrance because there was a chance the lasers could damage his eyes.

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Trump’s eyes were fine, but there was a small mishap with the lasers that led to something incredible, allegedly.

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“His theme music, Eye of the Tiger, began blaring from loudspeakers and as the bright green beams projected over his large head, Trump began his walk toward the 5,000 members of his staff,” Goldblatt writes. “However, a mishap occurred and suddenly the laser beams dropped by a metre and appeared to project through Trump’s midsection.”

This mistake might have made Trump angry if he had not had a near-death experience at that moment, from his own perspective.

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“Upon seeing this he immediately dropped to his knees, seemingly in fear of being severed in two by the powerful beams. I called out from the wings ‘It is all right, stand up and give your speech’. He looked at me with genuine fear and then rose, walked to the lectern and, though obviously shook up, delivered his usual rant.”

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There’s no way to know for sure what really went through Donald Trump’s head in that moment, and because he’s Donald Trump, we probably never will find out the truth. But if the story is true, it sure sounds like he thought the lights would or could slice through his whole torso, and with this man anything is possible.

Goldblatt also alleges that Trump threatened not to pay him for his work and was generally a jerk, but that isn’t news to anybody. What’s funnier is the allegation that the president-to-be opened one of his most famous casinos by rubbing a giant genie lamp, which would shoot a laser beam out of the spout and appear to cut the ribbon. The ’90s were really something.

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*First Published: November 18, 2020, 2:39 pm