We’re All Obsessed With The Trump Campaign’s Four Seasons Total Landscaping Press Conference

November 8, 2020, 10:26 am

Though we have yet to hear directly from President Trump regarding Joe Biden’s projected presidential win (beyond angry tweets, of course), Rudy Giuliani spoke to the press Saturday on his behalf, and the circumstances surrounding the whole thing may haunt the internet forever.

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The speech itself was inane and garbled — more baseless claims of voter fraud, more of the general posturing the country has come to expect from Giuliani. But the conference was overshadowed by an oddity that the internet can’t let go.

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Prior to the media calling the election in Biden’s favor, and even prior to Trump’s false claim that he “won this election, by a lot,” the president announced the press conference, scheduled to take place at Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia.

Big press conference today in Philadelphia at Four Seasons Total Landscaping — 11:30am!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 7, 2020

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That’s right: Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

It was a complete head-scratcher for folks at home wondering if he could have possibly meant the Four Seasons Hotel — especially considering he initially tweeted and deleted that it was happening at simply “the Four Seasons,” but the hotel itself soon cleared that question up.

To clarify, President Trump’s press conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia.
It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.

— Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia at Comcast Center (@FSPhiladelphia) November 7, 2020

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So Giuliani, representing the Trump campaign in the first public speech after the media said he lost, spoke to the public in a parking lot, in front of a small, random office, nestled safely between a crematorium and a porn shop.

Rudy Giuliani accidentally booking Four Seasons Total Landscaping for a press conference instead of the Four Seasons Hotel may be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. pic.twitter.com/TRuSOK384v

— Hamish Mitchell (@H_MitchellPhoto) November 8, 2020

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The obvious conclusion that many people came to was that somebody made a tremendously careless mistake and accidentally booked the wrong Four Seasons. There is just no other logical reason for hosting a press conference in this location.

If you’re wondering why @RudyGiuliani gave a national press conference announcing Trump’s legal action in the parking lot of a small landscaping company, it’s because the brilliant minds on Team Trump mistakenly booked Four Seasons Landscaping instead of the Four Seasons Hotel. pic.twitter.com/OYgdmCG4Bq

— Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) November 8, 2020

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I can’t stop thinking about the guy at the front desk of Four Seasons Landscaping who answered the call from the White House and BOOKED THEM

“Uh sure, yeah we have room” lol https://t.co/5vD5wCFZsi

— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) November 7, 2020

The current story from the Trump campaign is apparently that Giuliani WANTED to have the press conference at this landscaping company, and that it was Trump who misunderstood and tweeted incorrectly. But of course, that makes little to no sense.

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An answer to the Four Seasons Total Landscaping mystery: the company told me the Trump campaign contacted them today out of the blue ahead of the Giuliani presser and said their location was close to an exit on I95, and was secure, and that’s why they wanted to use it.

— Daniel Bush (@DanielBush) November 7, 2020

Just realised that literally right across the road is a conference venue, the State Room on State. So the choice of a landscapers parking lot gets even more bizarre and any lies about it being chosen because it was close to highway exits are just comedy. pic.twitter.com/lny570Gle5

— Bert is thinking about Four Seasons (@pastadisasta) November 8, 2020

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All great Americans in PA use Four Seasons Total Landscaping. They love this country and are American Patriots. Thank you!!

— Corey R. Lewandowski (@CLewandowski_) November 8, 2020

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As much as our attentions were elsewhere yesterday, Twitter still found time to double over laughing at the absurdity of Trump’s presidency essentially ending in a dirt parking lot surrounded by porn and death.

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He promised to run the country like he ran his business. It ended with Rudy Giuliani outside Four Season Total Landscaping next to a dildo shop, after a staffer mistakenly thought the empty parking lot was a Four Seasons hotel. pic.twitter.com/hOKcyWopqi

— Morten Øverbye (@morten) November 7, 2020

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So from a film production standpoint, if the art department comes to me and said here’s the location and set dressing for the big scene in which a major-party American presidential campaign makes the claim of widespread election fraud, all involved are so unbelievably fired. https://t.co/YqL1IGnBlW

— David Simon (@AoDespair) November 8, 2020

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20 bucks says Giuliani went to a booth at the adult store next to Four Seasons landscaping.

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) November 8, 2020

Metaphorically speaking, aren’t we all nestled between a sex shop and a crematorium?

— Ali Davis (@Ali_Davis) November 8, 2020

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And there’s even this gem of a note about Zarif Jacob, the owner of Fantasy Island whose parking lot was overtaken by this absurd accident.

Since I couldn’t get in to the Trump press conference, I went to Fantasy Island next door. Zarif Jacob, an ex-architect, could not fathom why the presser was near his shop—or even happening. “He lost. He knows he lost.” Also, people were taking up the spaces in his parking lot. pic.twitter.com/tm6coyeBCb

— dhm (@dhm) November 7, 2020

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No matter how Trump’s presidency truly concludes, whether he gives an embarrassingly narcissistic concession speech or has to be dragged out of the White House kicking and screaming, Four Seasons Total Landscaping will always feel like the true end. And we will never forget.

When you’re feeling down, just remember:

“Four Seasons Total Landscaping”

— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) November 8, 2020

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I’m going to laugh about Four Seasons Total Landscaping until I die. That shit is funny as hell.

What a way to end a Presidency.

— Holly Figueroa O’Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) November 8, 2020

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I hope Jill & Joe hire Four Seasons Total Landscaping to fix the Rose Garden.

— 866-OUR-VOTE (@Caissie) November 8, 2020

Strolling out of the porn store with your purchases, tingling with an anticipatory erotic buzz, suddenly face to face with Rudy Giuliani shouting in the parking lot

— Geoff Lemon (@geofflemon) November 8, 2020

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“Four (seasons total landscaping) score and seven years ago…”

— Will Arnett (@arnettwill) November 8, 2020

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Anniversary coming up.

Surprising my wife with a trip to the Four Seasons, Philadelphia.

Booking was much cheaper than I thought.

Not sure what “complimentary mulch” is, but either way, she’s gonna be impressed!

— John Pavlovitz (@johnpavlovitz) November 8, 2020

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*First Published: November 8, 2020, 10:26 am