There are a lot of very controlling religions out there, and the line between cultural-religious experiences and straight-up cults can be a little murky, especially when you didn’t join as an adult. For a kid with cult-member parents, that’s all they’ve ever experienced.
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But when you finally know you’re in a cult, you definitely know! That’s how it seems in these responses to a question posted by u/Havok1717 in r/AskReddit about that moment of knowing something wasn’t quite right.
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“Redditors who were raised in cults, when was the first time you realized something was wrong?” they asked.
Some of the people answering realized when they were very, very young because even the logic of a five-year-old brain is stronger than some internal cult messaging. Others had to grow up a bit to understand that the world they’d been raised in had a very flimsy base. It is definitely harder to recognize that you’re in a cult when you were born into one, but the fact that these people did it kind of gives me hope for humanity.
1.
After watching The Day After in the 80s, I asked my mom if we knew the nukes were coming, who would she rather spend her last moments with me or the cult leader, she choose him. I came up with my own survival plan after that. I was going to skateboard to safety. —19bonkbonk73
2.
When my parents told me they’d let me die rather than allow me to get certain medical procedures. —Schnauzerbutt
3.
I was 12 years old and my classmate from school died in a car accident. We were as close of friends as I was allowed to be with someone who wasn’t in the cult. I asked my mom if I would see my friend in paradise (afterlife) and she said no because her parents weren’t Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Then and now, I couldn’t believe that an innocent 12-year-old wouldn’t get a shot at everlasting life because of her parents. It was definitely the biggest crack in my ideology that only grew as I got into my teen years.—Anonymous
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4.
When the ‘Elders’ told me that I could no longer speak to my younger sister anymore because she was in ‘bad standing’ with the organization. She’s the only family I have left. They made her out to be this monster just because she wasn’t actively going to church. That’s when the glass shattered for me —BananasAnd69
5.
When my brother started asking (politely) how our religion was founded and how our family got involved and generally just questions about life: they don’t believe in evolution or kissing before marriage.
And they would bite his head off about it at age 11 It made me realize they were being defensive because they had no answers. If you can’t explain why you’re in a religion, you get the f-ck out. —PurelyAmy
6.
I wasn’t supposed to make friends with any other kids unless they went to our church. —super_nice_shark
7.
When I realized that the doors to the 13 story former hotel building we were all living in was locked and you had to sign out to leave.
No one (from children to adults) could leave without an explanation to where they were going and when they’d be back.
EDIT: Group operated under two names. IBLP (Institute for Basic Life Principals) this was their “outreach” label where they would go to churches and show this seminar to bring new gullible people into the fold. ATI (Advanced Training Institute) was for the people that actually wanted in deep and consisted of an entire homeschool curriculum to make sure your kids got brainwashed correctly.
Pretty in-depth interesting article written about the whole thing —g1ngerguitarist
8.
Not in a cult per se, but was in one of those evangelical megachurches. Started as a nice corner church; the piety was genuine.
I don’t think that the pastor planned the whole thing – he seemed a genuine preacher until the church grew exponentially. Like went from a few hundred members to 15,000 in less than 2 years. Then his main focus was maintaining (entertaining) the masses, which drove him to do stupid things.
Many weird things started happening. Especially, one day he “had a revelation” that the congregation needs to expand further and members have to, I am serious, give out all the GOLD they were wearing. I know a lady that got into serious trouble with her husband because she gave away her gold wedding band.
My last straw was when he promoted himself to Apostle and renamed himself “Paul”. Apostle Paul. Okay. —jetiro_now
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9.
When it came time for me to leave for my own mental health. I became the villain and when confiding in my college tutor she was horrified to learn even a fraction of what I had grown up with. She was the main encouragement I needed to gtfo when I did —Broken-Sushi
10.
When I was five and the leader, who claimed to receive messages directly from God, accused me of doing something I knew I had not done. —RSchlock
11.
When I learned that, if a women was going to be raped, it would be better for her to kill herself than risk having her “blood lineage” tainted —Shakiraoneal101
12.
I had a brief run-in with Scientology when I was 18. I was living with my grandparents at the time. I later found out that after I left they would call my grandparents’ house once a week looking for me, my grandmother never told them I had moved out because she didn’t want them to look for me.
After she died I started getting the Scientology magazine at my house, I imagine because they DID look for me after her phone number was disconnected. I still get the magazine. I went to classes there for like 2 months when I was 18, I am now 40. Don’t mess around with those people. —monkeylion
13.
Former Jehovah’s witness too. The first time I realized something was wrong was when a huge core belief changed in 1995. ( The end will come before the generation that saw the events of 1914 died…changed to.. well it’s changed 7 times since then) I was confused and it didn’t compute that my entire life’s beliefs changed overnight.
I struggled on a while until shortly after my then-husband beat the sh—t out of me and for some reason HE called the elders over to help and the elders told me ” Be a better wife so he doesn’t get angry” I was done then. DONE. If that’s the best their god has to offer then f-ck off. —oldrobotlady
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14.
When I was told doing independent research on the doctrine would lead to being shunned by my friends and family. I.e fall in line b—tch —llgongshowll
15.
When my youth group leader said that telling poor people about Jesus was more important than feeding them or housing them. —republican-jesus
16.
I was raised with the belief that if I followed all the rules and was a good person, I’d feel a confirmation of everything. 7 year old me was well aware that I had yet to feel it, and that was one of the many things that led to becoming depressed at the age of 12. I kept having questions that I had no answer for other than “God works in mysterious ways.”
Eventually, I found a YouTube channel where the person told about how they left the religion and I realized my whole life was a lie and that I no longer had to try and believe in something that never worked for me. —Just-an-Immortal
17.
Our RE teacher was off sick and the substitute teacher told us the same Bible story from the week before but with a completely different ending. —Bronson-in-a-cave
18.
Not exactly a cult, but it felt that way. Growing up, I went to the church of my religion, where the sermons were always conducted in the language of my heritage. The Sunday school teachers regularly disparaged other religions and ethnicities.
During the week, my parents sent me to an afterschool program to learn the language of my heritage, during which the other students regularly trashed other ethnicities, races, religions, etc. They only dated other people of my heritage. In college, the people of my heritage only spoke that language to each other, and looked down on me because I wanted to speak English.
Couldn’t stand any of this. Ended up marrying outside of my religion and stopped talking to about 99% of the people in my church. —4EVRGamer
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19.
Dad: “yeah but this theory is better because people had pet dinosaurs.”
Me at 8: “oh f—k yeah, but like I already learned that didn’t happen”
Dad: “let’s talk again after this 8 part lecture series on why the earth is 6k yrs old. I’m going to grab canned goods and a 50lb bag of rice from the basement.”
Me: “I’ve never seen where my friend’s parents keep their pallets of rice bags. . . ” —FingerGunsAreFine
20.
Nothing is wrong. Our Supreme leader knows all and loves us all equally. Sure, he only has sex with the cute teenage girls, but that is his right and responsibility as the one true representative of God. May his seed be strong and plentiful. —Slevinkellevra710
21.
When I was pulled out of Sunday school and scolded for asking legit questions about our so-called prophet. I was 8 years old and couldn’t wrap my head around how some guy could translate a lost language using a hat and a stone. I used to be a Mormon lmao. —honeysenpai__
*First Published: May 17, 2021, 6:38 am
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