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February 24, 2022, 9:24 am
AskReddit is often a treasure trove of useful information, but sometimes it sidetracks into interesting hypotheticals that are just downright fun.
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A recent post saw u/TheTayataya asking other users what fictional character they would summon to defeat the devil were he to decide to invade earth. While this may not be a situation we ever actually have to deal with, it still provided people with a lot to think about. And hey, we appear to be stuck in the darkest timeline, so who knows what insanity could come to pass before the decade’s up. Best to be prepared!
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1. Johnny (and his golden fiddle)
Fire on the mountain run boys run.
2. Kirby (Nintendo)
He destroys Eldrich Gods three times a week.
3. Doctor Strange (Marvel Comics)
He can just do the thing with the green rock and undo it.
4. Squirtle (Pokémon)
Water is super effective.
5. Ash Williams (The Evil Dead)
Good? Bad? He’s the guy with the gun.
6. Cthulu
Cthulu, because fuck everyone, thats why.
7. Tenacious D
“Needless to say, The beast was stunned. Whip-crack went his whippy tail, And the beast was done.”
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8. Gandalf the White (Lord of the Rings)
In addition to being powerful, he can bring out the good in others, which would be key to avoiding the whole world falling into despair and giving up without fighting. Sure, we might still lose. But afterwards, “a far green country” awaits.
9. Cuphead (Cuphead: Don’t Deal With the Devil)
If the Devil is anything like me, he’ll engage Cuphead and in five minutes say “fuck this, I’m outta here” and rage quit.
10. Lucifer (Lucifer)
To sit and watch those two argue who is the real devil would be great. Then I guess he can use his persuasion skills to talk him out of not invading and all that.
11. Doomguy (Doom)
Calling Doomguy because Satan is invading earth, is like calling pest control because there is a rat infestation in the basement. It’s a casual, inevitable outcome. Make the call then put it out your mind and go about your day.
12. John Constantine (DC Comics)
He’s already beaten them more than once and has plot armor thicker than the earths crust. Oh, he may lose everyone he cares about and have to give up more of his soul but Satan is fucked.
*First Published: February 24, 2022, 9:24 am
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